(12) Condemnation of Trshnaa

EXTRACT FROM VAIRAAGYA PRAKARANAM

हार्दान्धकारशर्वर्या तृष्णयेह​ दुरन्तया स्फुरन्ति चेतनाकाशे दोषकौशिकपङ्क्तय: ।

Due to Trshnaa, which never leads to any good like the dark night with its hidden dangers of terrifying darkness, crowd of owls namely faulty actions and ideas rise up in the sky of Pure Consciousness.

अन्तर्दाहप्रदायिन्या समूढरसमार्दवो पङ्कऽऽदित्यदीप्त्येव शोषं नीतोऽस्मि चिन्तया । मम चित्तमहारण्ये व्यामोहतिमिराकुले शून्ये ताण्ड​विनी जाता भृशमाशापिशाचिका । वचोरचितनीहारा काञ्चनोपवनोज्ज्वला नूनं विकासमायाति चिन्ताचणकमञ्जरी ।

Like a feather by the heat of the sun which scorches the insides and removes all the moisture, I have also dried up because of worries, and have lost all the good qualities by the heat of desires. In my mind-forest filled with the darkness of utter delusion, deserted and empty of all other good thoughts, the flesh-eating devil of Trshnaa dances wildly. The thorny bushes of worries bloom well, resplendent by the desire of gold nearby (the yellow Dhattura plants), and the mist of words (arguments) accompanied by tears (moisture).

अलमन्तर्भ्रमायैव​ तृष्णातरलिताशयाऽऽयाता विषमोल्लासमूर्मिरम्बुनिधाविव । उद्धामकल्लोलरवा देहाद्रौ वहतीव मे तरङ्गतरलाकारा तरत्तृष्णातरङ्गिणी ।

Trshnaa violently shaking the mind arrives only to increase the delusion within like a violent wave in the ocean. Trshnaa-river with its ever rising waves, moving from one place to another with its high rising incessant sound, carries away my body-mountain to the objects (to shatter me to pieces on the way). 

वेगं संरोद्धुमुदितो वात्ययेव जरत्तृणं नीतः कलुषया क्वापि तृष्णया चित्तचातकः । यां यामहमतीवास्थां संश्रयामि गुणश्रियां तां तां कृन्तति मे तृष्णा तन्त्रीमिव कुमूषिका ।

Like a dried up grass piece by the storm, my mind-chaataka bird gets blocked in its rush towards the rains of Self-bliss and gets carried away elsewhere by the dusty winds (losing its way). Whichever virtue I get prepared to cultivate necessary for the practice of Self-knowledge, Trshnaa cuts it off like a deceitful rat gnawing away the string of Veenaa.

पयसीव जरत्पर्णं वायाविव जरत्तृणं नभसीव शरन्मेघश्चिन्ताचक्रे भ्रमाम्यहम्। गन्तुमास्पदमात्मीयमसमर्थधियो वयं तृष्णाजाले विमुह्यामो जाले शकुनयो यथा । तृष्णाभिधानया तात दग्धोsस्मि ज्वालया तथा यथा दाहोपशमन-माशङ्के नामृतैरपि ।

Like a dried up leaf caught in the whirlpool, like a dried up grass carried by the winds, like an autumn cloud dissolving off in the sky, I wander aimlessly caught in the wheel of worries. Caught in the net thrown by the hunter we are unable to reach our nest (of Self-bliss), and suffer in this net spread by Trshnaa.

Dear one, I am burnt so much by the hot flames of Trshnaa that I do not have the hope of even the nectar-sprays  healing the burns.

दूरं दूरमितो गत्वा समेत्य च पुनःपुनः भ्रमत्याशु दिगन्तेषु तृष्णोन्मत्ता तुरङ्गमी । जडसंसर्गिणी तृष्णा कृतोर्ध्वाधोगमागमा क्षुब्धा ग्रन्थिमती नित्यमारघट्टाग्ररजुवत् । अन्तर्ग्रथितया देहे सर्वदुश्छेदयाऽनया रज्जेवेवाशु बलीवर्दस्तृष्णया वाह्यते जनः । पुत्रमित्रकलत्रादितृष्णया नित्यकष्टया खगेष्विव​ किरात्येदं जालं लोकेषु रच्यते ।

The insane Trshnaa-mare moves from here to far off lands, comes back, and again and again wanders off in all the directions. Like the rope which pulls water-pot from the well, Trshnaa is always wet (filled with desires), goes up and down (in various births), is rotten (because of tainted thoughts) and is knotted (with the Ahamkaara). By the rope knotted through one’s own nasal holes, thick and not easily cut, a bullock is pulled forward; so is a man pulled by the rope of Trshnaa. Like a bird getting enticed towards a painful net by the huntress by throwing tasty grains, this Trshnaa also attracts towards her net through the attachment towards son, friend, wife etc which lead to incessant pain only.  

भीषयत्यपि धीरमन्धयत्यपि सेक्षणं खेदयत्यपि शान्तेहं तृष्णा कृष्णेव शर्वरी । कुटिला कोमलस्पर्शा विषवैष​म्य-शंसिनी दशत्यपि मनाक्स्पृष्टा तृष्णा कृष्णेव भोगिनी । भिन्दती हृदयं पुंसां मायामयविधायिनी दौर्भाग्यदायिनी दीना तृष्णा कृष्णेव राक्षसी । तन्द्रीतन्त्रीगणैः कोशं दधाना परिवेष्टितं नानन्दे राजते ब्रह्मंस्तृष्णा जर्जरवल्लकी । नित्यमेवातिमलिना कटुकोन्माददायिनी दीर्घतन्त्री घनस्नेहा तृष्णा गह्वरवल्लरी । अनानन्द-करी शून्या निष्फला व्यर्थमुन्नताऽमङ्गलकरी क्रूरा तृष्णा क्षीणेव मञ्जरी । अनावर्जितचित्तापि सर्वमेवानुधावति न चाप्नोति फलं किन्चित्तृष्णा जीर्णेव​ कामिनी । संसारवृन्दे महति नानारससमाकुले भुवनाभोगरङ्गेषु तृष्णा जरठनर्तकी । जराकुसुमितारूढा पातोत्पातफलावलिर्संसारजङ्गले दीर्घे तृष्णा विषलता तता । यन्न शक्नोति तत्रापि धत्ते ताण्डविनीं गतिं नृत्यत्यानन्दरहितं तृष्णा जीर्णा इव नर्तकी । भृशं स्फुरति नीहारे शाम्यत्यालोकऽऽगते दुर्लङ्ग्येषु पदं धत्ते तृष्णा चपलबर्हिणी । जडकल्लोलबहुला चिरं शून्यान्तरान्तरा क्षणमुल्लासमायाति तृष्णा प्रावृट्त​​रङ्गिणी । नष्टमुत्सृज्य तिष्टन्तं तृष्णा वृक्षमिवापरं पुरुषात्पुरुषं याति तृष्णा लोलेव पक्षिणी । पदं करोत्यलङ्ग्येsपि तृप्तापि फलमीहते चिरं तिष्टति नैकत्र तृष्णा चपलमर्कटी । इदं कृतेवदमायाति सर्वमेवासमञ्जसमनारतं च यतते तृष्णा चेष्टेव दैविकी ।क्षणमायाति पाताले क्षणं याति नभस्थलं क्षणं भ्रमति दिक्कुञ्जे तृष्णा हृत्पद्मषट्पदी ।

Trshnaa is like the dark night which terrifies even the brave; blinds even those with eyes; worries even a person of calm disposition.

Trshnaa is like the serpent, soft to touch (momentary joy), with hidden venom (harmful results) and bites at the slightest touch (there is no escape once you entertain a desire).

Trshnaa is the dark Raakshasi of wretched deeds and tears away the hearts of the men; enchants with many deceitful magical tricks; and gives only worst states ever possible.

Trshnaa is the old ruined AlaabuVeena hey Brahman, makes only unpleasant sounds with the gourd covered by many loosened strings; looks not very pleasing (is inauspicious for sight); and sounds harsh (gives pain).

Trshnaa is the creeper rising in the deep dark cave always dirty and dusty (selfish thoughts), gives drowsiness which is harmful (results in harm though pleasing at first), grows very tall (reaching all objects) and is thickly interwoven (with attachments).

Like a dried up bower of creepers (hanging on trees) Trshnaa is hurting with thorns (pains), inauspicious looking, wastefully grown, fruitless, bared of all leaves and flowers, and never gives any joy.

Like a prostitute who has aged, Trshnaa uncontrolled runs after everyone (every object) and never gets the needed fruit (of happiness).

In the garden of Samsaara bubbling with many emotions, Trshnaa is like a dancer weakened by age, who unable to move her limbs the correct way, just assumes the dance postures painfully without giving any joy, on the pleasure-stage.

Trshnaa is the overspread poisonous creeper grown tall in the wild jungle of Samsaara with the flowers of old age and the fruits (of actions) falling all over.

Trshnaa is the fickle minded female peacock who dances well in the misty moist air of delusion; she remains quiet when the light of Viveka shines forth; she walks on difficult and dangerous paths.

Trshnaa is the muddy monsoon flood, flows with many cold violent waves of foolishness, empty of any use always, is broken at places (because of many wants), and stays pleasing only for a short time.

Like the hungry bird discarding the decayed tree moves to the next one, Trshnaa also moves from person to person.

Trshnaa is the restless monkey; never stays at one place for a moment; tries to cross treacherous areas, and reaches for more fruits though not hungry.

Trshnaa is like the divine act (not under the control of humans), and always brings about unwanted incidents at all times even when trying to fulfill the auspicious goals.

Trshnaa is the six-footed bee hovering in the mind, at one moment is at the lowliest places, another moment flies high in the sky, and the very next moment floats off in other directions.

सर्वसंसारदोषाणां तृष्णैका दीर्घदु:खदाऽन्त:पुरस्थमपि या योजयत्यतिसंकटे । प्रयच्छति परं जाड्यं परमालोकरोधिनी मोहनीहारगहना तृष्णा जलदमालिका । सर्वेषां जन्तुजातानां संसारव्यवहारिणां प्रतिप्रोतमनोमाला तृष्णा बन्धनरज्जुवत् । विचित्रवर्णा विगुणा दीर्घा मलिनसंस्थितिः शून्या शून्यपदा तृष्णा शक्रकार्मुखधर्मिणी ।

Among all the faults found in the world Trshnaa alone excels in giving endless pain to a man; for she can push even a man staying safe inside the harem towards great difficulties.

Trshnaa is the array of dark clouds; gives extreme cold (coldness of heart/foolishness), blocks the supreme light of Aatman; and fills the place with dense mist of delusion. 

Trshnaa is like a binding rope (tied to the neck of animals) for all types of beings taken birth on this earth who are engaged in their worldly life, as a garland woven by minds. Like the bow of Indra (rainbow), Trshnaa has many hues (varieties of sense pleasures); is without any string (any goodness); very long (never ending); stays in the dusty clouds (minds filled with ignorance); is void (is unreal); stays in the emptiness of the sky (in the empty mind-space).

अशनिर्गुणसस्यानां फलिता शरदापदां हिमं संवित्सरोजानां तमसां दीर्घयामिनी संसारनाटकनटी कार्यालयविहङ्गमी मानसारण्यहरिणी स्मरसङ्गीतवल्लकी व्यवहाराब्धिलहरी मोहमातङ्गशृङ्खला सर्गन्यग्रोधसुलता दुःखकैरवचन्द्रिका जरामरणदुःखानामेका रत्नसमुद्गिका आधिव्याधिविलासानां नित्यं मत्ता विलासिनी । क्षणमालोकविषया सान्धकारलवा क्षणं व्योमवीथ्युपमा तृष्णा नीहारगहना क्षणम् ।

Trshnaa is the hailstone for the plants called virtues; is the autumn for the fruits of dangers; is the snow-fall for the lotuses of wisdom; is the lengthy night for the ignorance; is the excelling actress in the drama of the world; is the bird flying inside the room busy with actions (disturbing by flying madly); the deer running wildly in the forest of the mind; the stringed Veenaa for the music of lust; the wave in the ocean of day to day life; the chain around the elephant called delusion; the creeper for the tree of Sarga (creation); the moonlight for the night lotus called pain; the single jewel-casket for the sufferings of old age and death; the intoxicated maiden sporting in mental and physical ailments. Trshnaa is like path in the empty sky (reaching nowhere), sometimes brings about a little of light (making one feel disgusted of the world because of the pains brought about by her); next moment she brings about darkness (by the mind again craving after pleasures); and the very next moment is misty (through delusions).

गच्छत्युपशमं तृष्णा कायव्यायामशान्तये तमी घनतमःकृष्णा यथा रक्षोनिवृत्तये । तावन्मुह्यत्ययं मूको लोको विलुलिताशयः यावदेवानुसंधत्ते तृष्णा विषविषूचिका । लोकोयमखिलं दुःखं चिन्तयोञ्झितयोञ्झति तृष्णा विषूचिकामन्त्रश्चिन्तात्यागो हि कथ्यते ।

Trshnaa subsides only when the body is set at rest through knowledge; is the densely dark moon-less night which when gone stops the movement of the wicked Raakshasas (desires). A man will be deluded only so long with his perturbed mind-state and remain helpless as long as he holds the fatal cholera germ of Trshnaa. A man gets rid of all the suffering by throwing off the anxiety about the fulfillment of desires and thus will be freed of Trshnaa. The renunciation of anxieties about desire-fulfillment alone is known as magical chant which cures the fatal disease of Trshnaa.

तृणपाषाणकाष्टादिसर्वमामिषशङ्कयाऽऽददाना स्फुरत्यन्ते तृष्णा मत्स्यी हृदे यथा । रोगार्तिरङ्गनातृष्णा गम्भीरमपि मानवमुत्तानतां नयत्याशु सूर्यांशव इवाम्बुजम् । अन्तःशून्या ग्रन्थिमत्यो दीर्घस्वाङ्कुरकण्टकाः मुक्तामणिप्रिया नित्यं तृष्णा वेणुललतेव​ ।

Trshnaa is like a fish in a lake chasing after every piece of grass, stone and stick desirous of the meat-piece and dying by means of that very meat-piece when it is obtained.

Thirst for the union of woman is like an intensely painful disease and makes a man stretch out in ugly contours like the hot sun-rays making the lotus petals open up.

Trshnaa is like a bamboo creeper; hollow inside (worthless desires), made of knots (obsessions), long thorns as sprouts (worries), and attracting with the pearls always (joys that never get attained).

अहो बत महच्चित्रं तृष्णामपि महाधियः दुश्च्छेदामपि कृन्तन्ति विवेकेनामलासिना ।

Ah, is it not a wonder that the great men of wisdom cut away even this Trshnaa very hard to break, with their faultless sword of discrimination!

नासिधारा न वज्राग्निर्नतप्ताय:कणार्चिषः तथा तीक्ष्णा यथा ब्रह्मन्तृष्णेयं हृदि संस्थिता । उज्ज्वलाऽसिततीक्ष्णाग्रा स्नेहदीर्घदशा परा प्रकशा दाहदुःस्पर्शा तृष्णा दीपशिखा इव । अपि मेरूपमं प्राज्ञमपि शूरमपि स्थिरं तृणीकरोति तृष्णैका निमिषेण नरोत्तमम् ।

Neither the sword with the sharp blade, nor the thunderbolt of Indra, not also the sparks of the burnt iron pieces are as sharp (as painful) as the Trshnaa well-rooted in the heart.

Trshnaa is like a lamp flame; brightly burning in the middle portion, blackened sharp edge at the end (ruin only as the end), the thick wick burning off slowly (deteriorating states of the body), supported by the attachments (oil), giving out light (the direct experience) yet hot to touch (with harmful results).

Even if one be as wise as the huge Meru Mountain, or be the most courageous man of outstanding bravery, Trshnaa singlehandedly reduces him to the level of a dry straw.

संस्तीर्णगहना भीमा घनजालरजोमयी सान्धकारोग्रनीहारा तृष्णा विन्ध्यमहातटी ।

Trshnaa is the mountain slope of Vindhyaa covered by the dark mist (of ignorance) filled with thick dust (of Rajas) making one lose the way, huge (never-ending) and difficult to cross over.

एकैव​ सर्वभुवनान्ततरलब्धलक्ष्या दुर्लक्ष्यतामुपगतैव वपुःस्थितैव तृष्णा स्थिता जगति चञ्चलवीचिमाले
क्षीरोद​काम्बुतरले मधुरेव शक्तिः ॥

Single yet reaching out for things all over the world, staying inside the body itself yet invisible, Trshnaa is like the sweetness in the flowing liquids of milk and water with their restless waves.

(I want to have the thirst for Self-knowledge only, like the excellent swan which sucks out the sweet milk from the water mixed milk.)